She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
