Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
