I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Come on in and take your pants off
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