Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
