i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
