three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
