Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
