Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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