I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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