remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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