wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sorry about my life...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
