i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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