We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
