Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
