I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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