I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
