What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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