Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
