I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
