where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
