He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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