just tell him i said nine months
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
