He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
