she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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