I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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