I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
