Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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