Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
