there's paper in my vomit.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
