it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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