So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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