She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
