i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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