There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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