she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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