I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
