I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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