shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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