if you like me you must not know who I am
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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