Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she told me i tasted like america
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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