Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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