This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
