my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
