Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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