It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
These tits shall not be calmed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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