i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
