i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I seem to have left my pride at pride
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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