I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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