what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize