I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
