There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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