I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
