i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she peed on how many people?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
