Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize