Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
this will be a night to untag.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
