i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
