I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
