a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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