reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
