I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I love you. Go after that dick
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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