Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
