i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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