It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
