What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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