Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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