I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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