she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
