There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
